One of Those Nights...

It is one of those nights that you cannot fall Asleep. I can't fall asleep because I am thinking about the future and how every time I try to proceed with my life, I can't. I probably should have stayed at King's, but if I did I would be putting a strain on myself financially and I could not do what I want. Arizona State University is another option but I think that I would have loathed that place for some reason. For some reason, I just do not want to go there. I want to go to the University of Minnesota, but every time I try to go something bad happens. I do not know what to do anymore, I simply hate the circumstances that I am in.

I cannot get a job and I cannot get to where I want to go, I am starting to think that my intelligence and the life I have lived was and is a waste. I feel like no one can accept me for me. I am smart and that is the only thing that is going for me. I do not know what there is to do. I apply and apply for jobs, but no one hires me. Things look like they are going to happen for me, but it never happens.

What is the point of me having intelligence if I cannot use it?

I think I am hitting rock bottom and I am way to young to get there, but whose to say that is not possible.

I guess the only two things I can do is pray and keep applying.

Leaving NYC

I am happy to be leaving NYC!! The city was not meant for me and I should have known that when I first visited here. I almost kissed the concrete when I got back to Arizona because I was so happy to be home. Now I was not homesick, I just did not like the city at all.

However, I ended up dropping all applications a few months afterwards to go to King's College. One day I just did it and I thought, I think God is doing this. So I went to NYC and King's College was great.

On the other hand, the city was just not meant for me. I like nature and open land!!! I love being able to smell fresh air. I love the fact that AZ does not get much rain. After living in a place where it rains a lot, I appreciate the drought. Plus, I never heard of rain boots till I came here or snow boots.

Although there were many bad things there was also a few good things. For instance, the amazing people that I have met here and I desire to keep in contact with them all. Especially those from the Spiritual Life Project. I did not join that group until second semester, but it was amazing. They are true friends and I love that.

Another thing that I like is that the education was great. However, I did not feel like I was getting my money worth because my tuition was going towards paying for the rent in the Empire State Building not towards the students. To the people location is what matters to them not the well-being of the students. Some of you may disagree, but that is how I felt. I like the school but I am not getting my money worth.

Also I am going to miss the Starbucks night crew in the Empire State Building they are amazing. They are just such awesome people. Thanks to Jesse, one that works there (hopefully he reads this) he has officially changed my common drink. My new drink instead of Carmel frap is not Mocha Coconut Frap

Well, New York has been a great experience. I think that God may have wanted me to be here to grow spiritually in which I am a much better Christian now. I have never been so devoted to God since my time being here. I have changed into a much better person and I am happy. Hopefully, I can share my faith to others.


I am satisfied with my decision to go to University of Minnesota because I am going to be able to do what I want. I am hoping to double major and minor. Major in Criminology and Political Science. Minor in Arabic Studies. I am sad to go and leave my friends. However, I feel like this is the right decision