Now I am always complaining about New York City: there are no stars, open fields, and so forth. However, I guess the one benefit of New York City is that you can sit in a park and cry your eyes out without anyone noticing or caring. I know that sounds terrible, but it makes me cry more when people ask and when people want to give hugs. Also I am ashamed when I cry in front of my friends sometimes because I think I am intruding upon people and my friends. I know that friends are people that you run to when you have problems, but sometimes it is hard for me because I always feel like I am intruding upon them. That could be reason as to why I have not had a boyfriend in such a long time. However, I like the fact that I can do that and no one will ask me .
Yesterday after the Interregnum with my school, we were all at the Shake Shack and that is when I decided to go and sit on a bench alone and cry. The reason why I was crying is because I am a jumper with my friends. I do not belong to any particular group, I do not know why. However, I do have many different friends that are in many different groups. So I tend to visit one group of friends and then jump to another, but I never feel part of a group. I do not think that I ever will either. I know that God wants us to have community and we are meant to socialize with others. However, I feel weird when I am in groups, I guess it is because I have not found the right crowd with. Granted I have found a group of friends I work well with and I feel like a belong, but the problem is that I have not been able to get that intrusion feeling off of me yet
Yesterday after the Interregnum with my school, we were all at the Shake Shack and that is when I decided to go and sit on a bench alone and cry. The reason why I was crying is because I am a jumper with my friends. I do not belong to any particular group, I do not know why. However, I do have many different friends that are in many different groups. So I tend to visit one group of friends and then jump to another, but I never feel part of a group. I do not think that I ever will either. I know that God wants us to have community and we are meant to socialize with others. However, I feel weird when I am in groups, I guess it is because I have not found the right crowd with. Granted I have found a group of friends I work well with and I feel like a belong, but the problem is that I have not been able to get that intrusion feeling off of me yet
